A Mum’s Mum

We've all heard the term a “girls girl”. You know, the saying we use to describe the girls who seem to have been born knowing how to braid hair, who rock up with ice cream and chocolate when you’re going through a break up and always somehow know exactly what to say when you’re crying in the bathroom.

Well let me tell you about what happened when I became a mum.

There’s this unspoken bond that exists between mums, and it’s not something you’re necessarily prepared for when you find out you’re pregnant. You go in thinking it’s all baby books and prenatal vitamins but what you don’t expect, is how your world cracks open and suddenly you’re surrounded by this secret society of women who just get it. The initiation you ask? It’s the sleepless nights, the endless worry, the moments when you feel like you’re drowning in nappies and tantrums.

And once you’re in, you are in it for life.

 Being a mum’s mum means that when you see another mum with that look—you know the one, the “I’m barely hanging on” look—you don’t just nod in sympathy. You show up. You text her, “Do you need hot chocolate or just an hour of silence?” and then you make it happen. You drop off a meal without waiting to be asked. You remind her that she’s not failing, that we’re all just trying to survive, and that if her kid ate nothing but toast for dinner, that’s still a win.

 I used to think motherhood was something you just had to figure out on your own. That it was this solo mission where you just had to be strong enough, tough enough, organized enough. But be surrounded by mum’s mum's has taught me the opposite; we were never meant to do this alone.

I think back to all the women who have "mummed" me through my hardest days—my own mum, my friends who are now mums, the random lady at the park who helped me wrangle my screaming toddler into the car while offering a wordless, knowing smile. These women? They didn’t just see me; they held me. That is exactly what being a mum’s mum is all about. You don’t just watch another mum struggle from afar—you reach out and grab her hand, even when she doesn’t ask for it... especially when she doesn’t ask for it.

And the best part? It’s not just about support when things are tough, it’s about showing up for the good stuff too. Being a mum’s mum means celebrating the wins—no matter how small. You throw a mini-party because her baby slept through the night for the first time. You cheer her on when she finally gets back into jeans that don’t have an elastic waistband. You send her a voice note with a “YOU DID IT!” when she gets through the day without Googling “why is my baby crying for three hours straight?”

The thing is, there’s no competition in being a mum’s mum. No judgment, no side-eye glances. We’re all just trying to raise these little humans without losing our own humanity in the process. We need each other for that. I need the mums who remind me to laugh when everything’s going wrong. I need the mums who say, “It’s okay, you don’t have to love every moment” when the guilt creeps in. I need the mums who tell me they’re proud of me when I’m struggling to feel proud of myself.

So yeah, I guess I’ve become a “mum’s mum" or at least I try to be. I hope to be the kind of  Mum who will drop everything to help another mum out, who keeps a stash of baby wipes and snacks in her car just in case someone needs them. The kind of Mum who will sit on the floor with you and your screaming baby and say, “This is hard, but we’re in it together.”

 I've learnt that being a mum’s mum means building each other up, being real about the mess, and showing up—always showing up. Because, honestly? We’re all in this club whether we wanted to join or not, and if we’re going to survive it, we might as well do it hand in hand.

So far, it's the best club I've ever been in. 10/10.

Payton x