January Slipped Away

2025 started without me— literally. I was in bed by 9 p.m. on New Year’s Eve. No fireworks, no countdown, just me, my pillow, and the sweet surrender of sleep. And yet, somehow, we’ve already arrived at the tail end of January. Time really said, “Catch up if you can.”

I swear I just blinked. One second, it was all fresh starts and resolutions, and now January is gone. 

January feels like the year’s warm-up lap. Everyone pretends to have their life together, and then halfway through the month, you realise we’re all just winging it. The gyms are full; planners are pristine, and the “new year, new me” energy is almost intoxicating. Almost. By week three, though, we’re all back to scrolling TikTok at 1 a.m. and questioning why time moves so fast and so slow at the same time.

For me, January was... complicated. A little bit of everything. It was cozy mornings in my favourite pjs, writing to-do lists I never finished, and that bittersweet tug of missing people I couldn’t text anymore. It was staying up too late with my husband, watching movies we’ve seen a thousand times, and holding my son close as he grows up way too fast for my liking.

January was soft skies that looked like oil paintings. It was the first laugh of the year that made my stomach hurt and the first cry that left me breathless. It was the mornings where I woke up feeling unstoppable and the nights where I felt like I was falling behind in some imaginary race.

I read somewhere that January is a doorway—a threshold between what was and what will be. And maybe that’s why it feels so slippery. You’re standing at the edge of everything you want and everything you’re afraid of, and somehow, you have to step through.

And while January slipped through my fingers like it always does, I’m holding on to the little moments. The “I love yous” whispered into the daily rhythms of every day life. The cafe dates I kept with myself. The sigh of relief when I realised it’s okay to not have all the answers.

Maybe this will be the year I finish my poetry book. Perhaps this will be the year I complete my studies once and for all.

- I'll keep you updated.

Pōmārie January, sweet dreams.

Payton xx